You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have demons in me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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