when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the liver wants what the liver wants
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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