can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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