woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
