I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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