I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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