This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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