She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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