Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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