The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize