i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize