I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Never underestimate the power of titties
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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