Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
