I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
