Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
