My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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