You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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