Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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