I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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