i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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