Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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