ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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