It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
