i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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