I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
