she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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