Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize