my mouth tastes like poor choices
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
