i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
