Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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