We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
