all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
