i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She announced her abortion via fbk
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
