I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
