Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
