I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
