plz talk dirty to me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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