My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
