your thong is hanging out like whoa
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
