Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
