Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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