haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
