K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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