Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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