this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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