When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
