so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
