do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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