At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
