thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
