Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
