I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
