Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
