what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was born a porn star she said
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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