Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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