Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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