i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Two words: blizzard sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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