sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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