Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
