just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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